Disturbing
by amberdowny
Summary: Josh comes to a disturbing realization…slash


Title: Disturbing

Author: SP

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nickelodeon and Dan Schneider and whoever else own everything.

Rating: K+

Pairing: Drake/Josh

Word Count: 994

Summary: Josh comes to a disturbing realization…  
Author's Notes: This follows the chronology of "A Few Other Men and One Woman" and "A Blonde Someone". All you need to know to get this is that Drake has come out to Josh in the past.

It's amazing, Josh thinks, how close he and Drake have gotten. At first, Drake had hated him. Josh still doesn't know what it is about him that Drake had hated so much. And now they're brothers. Not even stepbrothers, but brothers.

Which was why it's so disturbing for Josh to realize that he's attracted to Drake.

Oh, it's been coming for awhile. Josh can see that in retrospect. But he had done such a great job at being in denial that it's still something of a shock.

"Should I tell him?" he wonders aloud, pacing in a circle around the couch in their room. "Should I tell him I like guys too first? I mean, it's not like he'd have a _problem_ with me liking guys. I hope. That'd be hypocritical. Drake doesn't even know what hypocritical means. But he could still _be_ hypocritical. I mean, he would be being hypocritical if--" Josh stops talking, having talked himself in circles.

"That's confusing," he mutters. "Okay, so, Drake shouldn't have a problem with the fact that I like guys. But would he have a problem with the fact that I like _him_? We're stepbrothers, so that's sort of incest. Not totally, obviously, but sort of. Enough that that would turn off most people. And we're really close now, so it's almost like the step doesn't count."

Josh stops pacing and collapses on the couch. "Come on, Josh! Just weigh the pros and cons!" He starts to do so, but gets bogged down in the horrible possibilities and so firmly stops that train of thought. He leaps up and starts pacing again.

"What would I even say, anyway?" Josh asks himself. He thinks for a minute. Then he flops back onto the couch, burying his head in a pillow. "'Drake, I think you're hot, wanna make out?' I don't think so. That only works for girls. Okay, so basically it boils down to this: on the one hand, he might hate me, on the other hand, he might not," he says, his words muffled by the cushions.

Josh takes a deep breath, which doesn't work well when one's head is buried in a pillow, he discovers. "Maybe he wouldn't mind, but he wouldn't feel the same either. Not like I expect that. He's really way out of my league. Maybe he'd be flattered. Maybe he'd just laugh. Maybe things would get really awkward and it'd be better to just not say anything."

"Or maybe," suggests a second voice, "he _would_ feel the same."

Josh jumps up, then gets tangled in his feet and falls over. He immediately scrambles up again and looks towards the door.

Drake stands there, leaning against the doorjamb, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

"D-Drake, I-I…" Josh begins to stammer, but Drake crosses the room and puts his hand over Josh's mouth.

"You know, that _would_ work just as well for you as it does for girls. Maybe even better," he adds thoughtfully. Drake smiles at Josh, who's still gaping at him. "Hey, you don't have to _tell_ me you think I'm hot now, do you?"

"Well--well, _no_, but I didn't want you to find out like this…"

Drake rolls his eyes. Josh is talking too much. As usual. So before Josh can convince himself, or Drake for that matter, that he really didn't know what he was talking about, he doesn't really feel that way, Drake interrupts him…

…by standing on tiptoe and pressing his lips against Josh's.

Josh clearly isn't expecting it, Drake notices through his almost-closed eyes; he squeaks and tenses, and his eyes widen dramatically. Drake chuckles against Josh's mouth, then snakes a hand around to the back of his head and keeps kissing him. Josh slowly relaxes and he closes his eyes. And then he starts to kiss back.

Drake moves his hand from Josh's head to the nape of his neck and brings his other arm up to wrap around Josh's waist. Hesitantly, Josh puts one arm around Drake's shoulders, just as he'd done while kissing Drake on his birthday earlier that year.

Taking heart from that, Drake slides his tongue over Josh's bottom lip. Josh stills, then opens his mouth and allows Drake to slip his tongue inside.

Drake moves his tongue over Josh's, then pulls back slightly and sucks at Josh's lower lip. Josh makes a small noise, then breaks the kiss.

Drake sinks back down to his normal height and looks curiously at Josh. "Anything wrong?"

Josh shakes his head dazedly. "No, not exactly, I just…since when?"

"A while," Drake admits. "Since…maybe since you did the Blues Brothers with me at the Talent Show that time?"

Josh is taken aback. "Wow…so you knew you liked guys way before you told me?"

"And you never told me that you did like guys," Drake points out.

"I just figured it out myself," Josh defends himself. "Or…I kind of knew for awhile, but I just admitted it to myself, at the same time I admitted that I liked you."

Drake smiles brightly. "Oh, okay. So…shall we continue?"

Josh blushes, but moves in and kisses Drake, leaning down this time so his shorter brother doesn't have to stretch.

Then he pulls away quickly as _that_ thought crosses his mind.

"Josh?" Drake asks in confusion.

"We're brothers!" Josh exclaims. "Doesn't that make this wrong?"

"Hey," Drake says firmly, "it doesn't matter. Does it feel right to you?"

Josh fumbles, then answers honestly, "Yes."

"Well then, it is," Drake says simply.

Josh sits down heavily on the couch. "What if Mom and Dad find out?"

Drakes stands over Josh, straddling his knees. "They won't. We can be careful, right?"

Josh looks up. "Yeah, I guess, but--"

"Don't worry." Drake moves so that he's actually _in_ Josh's lap. "It'll be okay."

Then he leans down and claims Josh's lips again. Josh kisses back immediately this time, almost desperately. He doesn't hesitate, just deepens the kiss and twines his tongue with Drake's.


End file.
